babies don't let your parents grow up to be cowboys

maybe it is just noe valley, but these san francisco parents are pissing me off. they have this look on their faces-- this smug, self-satisfied look. like they are so proud of themselves that they a) reproduced and b) stayed in the city. they bug me. they really do. i mean, i think it is great you are in the city and haven't fled in a panic to the east bay, but do you have to think it is so great? and do you have to think that i must think it is so great? and what is with your outfit? i get it, you are a cool parent with all the hip gear, but would it kill you to not look so goddamn planned? with you shoes and your sweater and your hair and whatnot. just stop. and don't think i'm talking about just moms here, dads are just as bad-- if not worse. they have less of the "look what my loins have wrought" look, but more of the "i'm so a dad in the city" look. i don't know which is worse. agre. stop looking so goddamn serene and content. yes, you are spectacular, yes your stupid drooling idiot progeny is technically "cute" what with the big eye to face ratio, but could you maybe just look a little less relaxed about it? look a little like maybe it is difficult and stressful and hard? because this granola stepford baby thing is making me worry that in the future our nation will be led by these fucked up children of the corn. only not the actual corn so much and the metaphorical corn. because as far as i can tell, there is no actual corn here.